Sobriety

Okay, I feel like I should briefly touch bases with the topic of drugs.

Yes, I've experimented, but I've never done anything crazy like crack, heroin, coccaine; nothing like that. Pot, alcohol and DXM are the 3 primary things I've dabbled in, all of which have been a good time.

Alcohol was always my drug of choice, as is the case with most people I know. I've been blasted to the point of puking all over myself, only to wake up sober, clean up and think, "Man, that was an awesome night! It was worth it!" But on the flipside, I've also had nights in which I felt like I was dying and had a sort of sense of regret. It was a good time overall, but my time with alcohol has come to an end; for good.

Pot is the drug I've messed with the least amount of times. I've smoked medical pot that had me high out of my mind, but I've also smoked pot that did nothing to me. The good stuff was really fun and gave me the giggles nearly every time, but the bad stuff was simply boring. I don't smoke pot often enough to matter, though; asthma and allergies will do that.

Now we come to the kicker: DXM AKA dextromethorphan. For those of you that don't know, this is a common active ingredient in cough gels, cough syrups and many other things and is used primarily to treat coughs. This is a highly recreational drug and while it can be incredibly fun, it can also invoke some of the most terrifying experiences of one's life.

To continue and elaborate a bit, you all know what pot and alcohol do, but what does DXM do?

At high enough doses, DXM is a very powerful psychadelic dissociative substance. It creates intense feelings, which vary from a simple head high to the most incredible visual experiences you'll likely experience. Everything from ruling a kingdom to meeting with random gods in a space-like setting, and even things like feeling as though you are a growing plant; it's insane.

It's very heavy, potent and can be hard on the body if you're not careful. Safe enough under most circumstances, so long as you don't go nuts doing it all of the time, but dangerous enough that it can also be fatal if you take a high enough dose; believe me, I know. This is the very thing that I tried to kill myself with, knowing full well of what the dose would do to me if I didn't seek medical attention.

Am I proud of that? No. I tried to kill myself. I saught help, found it and while my mind still wanders and I'm still depressed over all of the stuff that goes on in my life, I'm not suicidal. I'm okay. I don't plan on doing that again.

But is DXM fun, when you're NOT trying to dose high enough to die? Heck yes! Or I should say, so long as you can handle it; most people can't.

I openly support experimenting with different things, but please be warned: DXM is not for everyone. Do not experiment with this drug, regardless of what you think after reading this blog, unless you are 100% mentally prepared and have someone to watch over you. This is not a laughing matter or a weak drug. You have been warned.

To those of you that may be naysayers, or hate on me for being open and honest about this, that's your opinion, choice and perogative. I will not tell you that you are wrong.

However, if you tell me that getting drunk is any safer than tripping on DXM and act as though you are better and more safe than I am because you choose to do something that's "legal", you can lick a dirty scrotum. Legality does not define the potency, safety or overall experience of any specific drug/chemical.

The truth is, drugs are drugs. Alcohol, DXM, pot; no matter how much safer one drug may be, it's all the same. You are doing something that harms your body for the sake of experiencing something that you normally can not experience for a limited period of time; that's what all drugs are for, and that's why we do them, whether they are legal or illegal; tame or hard.

If you are straight-edged, more power to you. I wish I were able to be that way throughout the course of my life, but it didn't happen. No hate here; you do what you want to do and you enjoy life how you want to enjoy it.

Everything has consequences. I know I hurt my body when I do something recreational like this, just as others destroy their body by getting drunk or whatever else is out there that they may choose to partake in. It sucks, but that's life.

If you have something to say, please be respectful. It took a lot of courage for me to post this as is.