Comeback

Life comes with two guarantees: A beginning and an end. How your life plays out is, for the most part, your choice.

There's also a bit of luck, whether it be good or bad, but otherwise, you call the shots. No matter how you may think or what you may feel, you nearly always have a choice.

You are in control of your own life. There is no driving force choosing your course of actions. You have free will.

Now, all of that may seem pointless and rehashed, but there's a reason that I felt compelled to explain such basic concepts of life: Love.

Most of you know that I was in a relationship that started shortly after I met my ex-girlfriend. Her and I clicked immediately and fell in love. It was pure and innocent. The whole thing was wonderful. We felt like nothing could stop us and it showed. People even thought that we would get married someday, simply based on how happy we were. We never even had serious arguments.

Well, such a good thing had to come to an end. Say what you will, but I truly did not expect an end with her. I loved her deeply and I wanted nothing more than to take her as my bride and settle down. Far off in the future, of course. But even still, it was a nice thought.

Before I go on, please take note that I'm not going to sit here and write up everything that happened yet again, so please go back and check out older posts if you feel the need to catch up.

Anyway, after all was said and done, she kept pressing my buttons. She kept saying, but not doing. She kept barking, but not biting. She kept claiming that she was in control of her life, yet she had not done a single thing of her own free will. Her family owned her and they still do.

Yes, I know that may sound cruel, but it's the truth. She has a great relationship with her family, but it's to the point that she will not do anything without her mother's approval.

And of course, there was also the constant lies. I can not deal with the lies. There's a difference between lying and being a liar. She is a liar. It's the worst case of this I've ever encountered, even compared to good ol' Dan Gibson and a few choice others.

I do love her. Please do not make the mistake of assuming otherwise. However, I must stay away from her until that love has completely faded. I must move on. I cannot allow myself to be lied to, pushed aside and hurt constantly. I cannot allow myself to give in to her begging, only to be pushed down and hurt all over again each and every time.

That said, there comes a time when a relationship is damaged beyond repair. It sucks. It's unfortunate. But you know what? That's life.

I have to move on. I will move on. And while that love is still fading, I'm ready to face the world again while the rest of that leaves my system. It wont take forever, after all.

So, I say to you: I was dead inside, but now I'm alive. I had no desire to fight, but I have been reinvigorated. I was depressed far more than I ever had been, but I'm starting to enjoy life again. I have problems, but they will not pin me down forever. Things are rough, but life will get better eventually.

I was lost, but the fog has been lifted and I'm on my way back.

Fire in heart, heart in hand, fist clenched; I'm ready. Let's rock.